#10 Self-care

I had a friend named Johnny.  He was a great youth pastor and made sure that he sacrificed for his students.  The problem with this was he never really care for himself or his family.  He would often spend long hours at the church and sometimes fall asleep there.  He gained a lot of weight and you could tell he didn't take care of himself.  He then would go and hangout with the youth outside of youth group.  He would go to every event and it wore on him.  You could see it in his sermons and in his face.  He was tiered and burnt out.  He eventually resigned from his position so he could spend time with his family.
My other friend Larry exhibited great self care and it really showed.  He made sure that his job didn't interfere with his family.  He and his wife sacrificed a lot for the youth group but they made sure they had time with each other.  He spent his time at the church, in meetings, with youth, but he always made sure he had time at home.  The youth group flourished and it grew from about 30 teens to 120 in about 3 years.
What I learned from this is that even though teaching and preaching may be what you are called to do but make sure you separate your time at the church and your time at home.  You need to relax and if you have a wife and a family, make sure that they are taken care of too.  Do not neglect them because you have committed to them too. 

#9 Change in View of Leadership

My idea of leadership when I was in elementary school was of my teachers, parents, and my neighbors. They were leaders in my life only because of position and age.  If they were older than me and in a position of respect then that is why they were leaders.  My parents were really the only leaders at that time where it was because they led by example.  They taught me to serve others and live with integrity.  My parents were my coaches and cheerleaders.  They were involved in everything I did.  That is what I respected the most.
Now my leadership views have changed from position and age to what my parents were teaching me all along.  It is about servanthood and integrity.  If you hold those things true, you cannot help but be a natural leader.  The reason that this has stayed my view is through the church and my parents.  My pastors and parents have represented this in everything.  I have seen how it has affected others and how it really is an effective way to lead.  They don't force leadership, they exemplify it.

#8 Personal Values

Three personal values I have are loyalty, honesty, servanthood.  One, loyalty is very important to me.  It shows selflessness.  If you are loyal to God, your family, your relationships, your ministry, and your friends, it shows that you are devoting yourself to something other than yourself.  It also builds trust.  If you are staying true to what you are loyal to, you will not turn your back on them.  If you have a value of making sure you are where you said you would be for them, then it builds a very strong trust.  In ministries, if you stay loyal to your "flock", then it will show them that they can respect you.  I have learned that a lot in my ministry these past two years.  My first year was rough because many leaders have come and go throughout their ministry.  Having come back for a second year shows that I am trustworthy and loyal to them.  They have now given me the respect of listening to what I have to say.
The second personal value I have is honesty.  Honesty is key in all things.  You always hear the saying from your parents, "Honesty is the best policy!" But it totally is true.  If your are honest in all things, you will build trust.  This will help out because most people will see your intentions, even if you screw up, and give you some kind of mercy.  They may also teach you a lesson through the consequences but it won't be out of anger.  People will give you the benefit of the doubt and they won't watch you to see if you screw up.  They trust you enough because you always have been honest.  This helps build up others as well.  "Iron sharpens Iron".  If you are representing honesty, others will follow.
The third personal value I have is servanthood.  As I said in my first point, I have always been taught that this life does not revolve around you.  It is about others.  I have learned that through being in places to serve all my life.  My parents have put me in those situations and I have seen the benefits of it.   This builds up others and it shows people who don't know Christ who he is through his love.  It involves seeing a need but also acting on it.  We need to serve.  Christ served his people on this earth and we need to do the same in any way we can.

#7 Inattention to Results

1) What are the reasons that we need to focus on results?
2) What are the benefits and negatives of  publicly declaring results in your organization and rewarding good results? Are there any other things we can do to get the group focused on results?
3) What role does a leader play in the focus on results? And how can we, as leaders, bring focus on results in our teams?
4) What can happen if our team is not focused on results or if we are not focused on results?
5) How can prevent individuals ideas and the teams ideas from getting away from the results as a whole?

#6 Communication & Ethics

Looking at my own communication skills, I consider myself, naturally, more of an unassertive communicator.  I can see that I don't put myself out there often unless I need to.  When I speak in front of people I have no problem being assertive but when I am in a group, like a brainstorming group, then I usually take the back seat.  When I took the listening self-assessment, I scored a 67.  That is above the average of 61.  After looking through the questions, I saw that when emotions are a part of listening, I don not score as well.  If I am able to focus over emotions, then I would be able to listen better.  That is important especially during high stress situations.
An ethical dilemma that I had was there was a leader in the group that I was involved in and that person didn't want to be the leader anymore.  I didn't know if I should tell that person to step down or encourage them to keep going even when they didn't want to.  If I worked through this dilemma using the ends-based thinking, I would want to tell this person to step down.  I would see that it would do more damage if this person stayed leading then if they kept going.  I would most likely tell the person to step down regardless if they wanted to do it then or not.  Though this could cause some damage between relationships.
What I actually used was more of the care-based thinking.  I ended up just talking with this person on a regular basis and made sure they knew what was going on and what the consequences are to what their lack of passion was doing.  This person stepped down on their own and it kept a good relationship with everyone who was involved.

Environmental Influence

Whether we want to accept or deny it, our environment really does affect us. It shapes our perspectives, it shapes how we do things, it shapes our norms, and it shapes our lives.  An environment that really has affected me is my family.  They are who I have grown up with and have taught me much of what I know about life.  As a family, our beliefs are pretty much the same throughout.  We have a strong Christian foundation to our beliefs and we focus a lot on family.  I have seen this by my parents doing everything to show me the love of Christ and how to show that to others.  We haven't ever been very knowledgeable of theology, but I have learned the discipline of serving.  I grew up in soup kitchens, homeless shelters, and other places where we can serve.  I still keep in weekly communication with them and I not only see my immediate family all the time, but I also see my extended family many times throughout the year.  We have always grown up that dinner time with the family was important.  We all would sit around the dinner table and start off in prayer.  Then we would all talk and hang out.  I always loved having that as a daily part of our family.  We always joke around about each other and I've seen that isn't normal for some families.  We like to have running jokes about funny things someone has said.  It really does make hanging around your parents fun.  Because of all these things, it really reflects in all of our lives.  You can definitely tell if you are a Leedy.
My gender influences my values by how I operate in my relationships and friendships.  When I am around a group of guys is different than if I was around girls.  I can really go in depth with a guy about his life because we can relate.  I couldn't do that with a girl unless she was my girlfriend or wife.  There are certain boundaries that you operate in according to your gender. So if I am leading a group of guys, I would have no hesitance on going deep into their lives and challenge them that way. If I was leading a group of girls, I wouldn't go as deep because I need to understand my place as a male.  As for my race or ethnicity, they really don't come into play.  I am Polish, French-Canadian, and German, but my roots don't go deep.  These ethnic values really haven't shaped much of who I am, mostly because I really don't know the culture and haven't been a part of it. 

#3 The Group

a.      Everyone has experienced moments in their lives when they felt excluded from a group. Think about an experience when you felt like an outsider. What made you feel that way? Did someone help you to become part of the group? If so, how did they do this? If not, what would have helped you feel like you belong (belonged)?

A time where I felt excluded from a group was my freshman year of football.  Why I felt like that was because I was placed as the first string middle linebacker and then I was moved from that spot a week later to a guy who just joined the team because the coach wanted him to.  All of the starters knew each other from middle school and I didn't.  The coaches knew them all as well.  I never had the chance to get to know them before so it closed me out from the group.  I never became a part of that "group" but many of the 2nd and 3rd string guys hung out with me.  So we all naturally talked and I felt a part of that group.  The team didn't act as a whole but I'm glad I was a part of the team in that way rather than with the starters.

b.      Think about an organization you are in (or have been in). What knowledge, attitudes, values, and skills were necessary for an individual to achieve success in that organization? What knowledge, attitudes, values, and skills were necessary for organizational success? 

In student life, it is important that you have a heart for community and people.  It is important that your attitude is positive and encouraging, as well as challenging to the students.  You have to have a vision and a plan for what you want to do.  You should have at least a basic foundation of biblical knowledge.  This organization is built off of teamwork.  You have to be accountable and responsible.  You have to be flexible and want to work with a team.  You have to get to know who you are working with.  You have to be timely.  But most of all you have to love the Lord with all of your heart.